Category Archives: Infant Care

The Top 25 Things NOT to Say to a Pregnant Woman

The Top 25 Things

 

Pregnancy is a time of many things. Joy, peace, wonderment, angst, and so many other emotions rolled into one. What it is also, is a time of realization that people have no filter. And say stupid shit. Why people feel the need to be unabashedly candid while speaking to a pregnant woman is beyond me. Below is a top 25 list of things NOT to say to a pregnant woman:

1. You’re SOOOOO big!

2. Are you having twins?

3. Why would you find out what you’re having? Life’s greatest surprise; ruined.

4. How do you not want to know what you’re having?! (Followed by: I could NEVER do that. I would NEED to know.)

5. Heard those hemorrhoids are a bitch.

6. So it’s true: daughters do steal their mother’s beauty.

7. Two under two. That’s going to be torture. You’re never going to have time for both.

8. Say goodbye to your body! Say goodbye to sex! Say goodbye to time for yourself! Say goodbye to your life! <Etc.>

9. I tore from my vagina to my asshole. I still can’t sit right.

10. What if your epidural doesn’t work? You’ll be able to feel everything.

11. How are you going to lose all this weight once the baby is born?

12. You’re barely showing. Are the doctor’s concerned? You need to eat more.

13. You’re having a natural delivery? You’re insane.

14. You’re getting pain meds during delivery? I heard they damage your baby.

15. You’re going to breastfeed your baby boy? Gross. Aren’t you worried he will be obsessed with breasts?

16. You’re going to poison your baby with formula? Don’t you know breast is best?

17. Breastfeeding is torture. Just use formula, save yourself the trouble.

18. Where is he/she? I’m so sick of waiting! Come on out (spoken to stomach or, for the really self-UNaware, vagina)!!

19. You’re naming him/her ____ (insert literally ANY name)?!?! Oh, I knew a ____. Total meth head. I’m sure your baby won’t turn into a meth head, though.

20. OMG you look bigger and bigger every time I see you! That baby must be running out of room in there!

21. Sorry, I forgot you can’t drink. I feel so bad for you.

22. You just look so exhausted. I’ve never seen you look so tired.

23. When I was pregnant… (insert unwanted story about how that person did something better than you).

24. You’re going to eat your PLACENTA?! That’s so gross. You’re like a cannibal.

25. You’ve really filled out everywhere this pregnancy.

In conclusion, unless you have something positive to say, PLEASE keep it to yourself. Chances are she has answered the same questions 29,845,729,845 times, and, if you’re a stranger, she doesn’t want to talk to you.

Please feel free to comment below with your “favorite” unwanted comment you received during your pregnancy.

Publisher’s note: the idea to write this blog post came to me after seeing a series of snapchats from laurmcbrideblog (that’s her snap personality if you want to follow her, and her blog is here) of stupid shit people had said to her just that day. Originally, the post had started with the top 10, but after reaching out to a few previous and current clients, the list grew rapidly.

Top Five Tips for Babysitting an Infant

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I had the absolute pleasure of babysitting my friend’s infant, Macie, when her momma returned to school from her maternity leave. Macie Mondays quickly became my favorite day of the week, and I made sure to give her the best care I was able. I learned a lot along the way, and thought I would share my top five tips for babysitting an infant:

1.   LISTEN to the parents. They spend the most time with the infant. You DON’T know best when it comes to someone else’s child, so listen to what they have to say. What may have worked for you and your children, or a family you’ve babysat in the past, or your nieces and nephews, could be the worst thing in the world to that baby.

2.   FOLLOW the parents’ schedule. Parents give you a schedule for a reason. Usually because they have tried numerous different scenarios, and this is what works best for them and their baby. Is it going to vary slightly? Sure. You have to adapt, and read the child’s needs. But don’t forego a nap at a scheduled time because you want to catch Oprah at 3:00 and you don’t want to be disturbed.

Macie2

3.   PLAY with infants. And READ to them. And TEACH them new things. Are they going to throw a ball back to you? No. Are they going to understand how many red circles can be found on a page? Probably not. But, they are learning, rapidly. Their brains are growing so much, and they are making connections and learning about the world around them. So give them the best chance at a good start by interacting constantly. For more tips about reading aloud to your infant, please check out this link.

4.   REALIZE that you are being trusted to care for the single, utmost important, precious gift in the parents’ lives. Whatever they say, goes. If there is a reason you need to stray from their guidelines, be honest and tell them why. If they aren’t comfortable with something you want to do, you HAVE to listen. Caring for their child is not a time to be selfish, and they need to be able to trust you. If they say no TV, don’t turn it on. If they say you can’t drive with their baby in the car, surrender your keys. They are the parents, and they make the rules. This message applies VERY WELL to all you grandparents out there, too ;)

5.   LOVE that infant with everything you have while they are in your care. During a stage where they are learning so much everyday, they have to know how loved they are, how special they are, and what a healthy, loving relationship means. And they are just so cute, how can you not <3

Do you have any additional tips for babysitting an infant? Please feel free to leave them in the comments!

Macie

Seriously, how freaking cute is she?! :) Not to mention smart, expressive, happy, curious, interactive, beautiful, fun, energetic, and the list goes on and on and on <3